|1991 Range Rover
DAMN NEVER BUY A RANGE ROVER
What a piece of shit and what a moron I am, I should be forced to drive
this hunk for the rest of my life and not be allowed to fix the shit that
breaks, I should be forced to drive it in it's various states of
decreasing functionality until either it, or I, cease existence.
My mechanic warned me with a grunt "Ug, money pit" I knew it all though,
"best 4x4xfar" , is by far the most expensive parts monkey on the road.
This thing drives so sweet, looks cool, and is like a magic carpet,
It's my own damn fault, I bought it "used" from the second owner. The
first owner actually had work done on the truck, with records. The second
owner, I have come to find out, was a limey twit who knew about the
stealthy problems this truck had and chose not to tell me about them. He
also knew nothing of maintenance.
Week 1: Replaced Water pump, Thermostat and radiator, bought parts and
Week 2: A/C diagnostics for water leaking onto passenger floor mats and
feet (not resolved)........................$78.00
Weeks 3 and 4: Several shops attempt to change oil but cannot, drain plug
Week 5: A/C shop replaced expansion valve and drier, claimed fixed leak, I
Week 5 still!: Back to A/C shop about my floor board now called "A River
Runs Thru It" ................................n.c.
AND IT STILL LEAKS LIKE A MENSTRUATING PIG.
Week 6: Who knows, more leaking onto the floor board, nobody can fix it
and surely something else that cost a lot of money will fail as will my
will to persevere with this toad.
How could I have been so stupid, I knew I shouldn't have bought it but I
was a crack fiend looking for a fix, it was weird and now I feel really
gross about it, like a guy who got really drunk and did something really
embarrassing, like kiss a guy. I just want this truck to go away, like a
"alien abduction" or something. Do you think an alien would be so stupid
as to steal it??
I guess not, if they can "space travel" then they don't want this hunk o
I must post a follow up and tell you
After I vented and sent in my tale of woe, I
walked out of my office and drove home.
All the time I was driving, I was
irrationally talking (yelling) at this vehicle. I told it what a
let-down it was and what a sad reflection it was of traditional British
motor cars, Lucas electronics and all. I informed it that quite likely I
would soon wash my hands of the whole matter, purchase myself a spiffy
new Volkswagen Touareg, and promptly sell it to some inhabitant of the
third-world where it would be bought and shipped to the respective
banana-republic of it's new owners birth place where it would be
neglected, abused, maintained with bailing wire and vise-grips and die a
horrible death while being cannibalized and parts put on whatever. Upon
arriving home, I felt really dumb for having yelled at a truck for 15
minutes, grabbed a beer and reflected, reflected upon why the
I DID NOT HAVE ONE DROP OF WATER FROM
DRIVING HOME WITH THE A/C ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The next day, I headed to my
buddy who is the head mechanic at a well respected Rover dealer here in
So. Fla. I figured we'd tear the evaporator case apart and get to the
bottom of this, or get really mad trying. First, my friend wanted to see
the leak, I felt the lump, I knew the truck was not going to leak for
It is now Tuesday and since I
sent in the letter to you, yelled at the truck and threatened it with
being a third world "burro", and showed it the brutal reality of a good
range rover mechanic on the case, I think it finally cracked and
realized who the boss is here!!!! I have not had one drop since.
Jon "Over the Rover" Gilbert