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1991 Range Rover
What a piece of shit and what a moron I am, I should be forced to drive this hunk for the rest of my life and not be allowed to fix the shit that breaks, I should be forced to drive it in it's various states of decreasing functionality until either it, or I, cease existence.
My mechanic warned me with a grunt "Ug, money pit" I knew it all though, "best 4x4xfar" , is by far the most expensive parts monkey on the road. This thing drives so sweet, looks cool, and is like a magic carpet, but.......
It's my own damn fault, I bought it "used" from the second owner. The first owner actually had work done on the truck, with records. The second owner, I have come to find out, was a limey twit who knew about the stealthy problems this truck had and chose not to tell me about them. He also knew nothing of maintenance.

Week 1: Replaced Water pump, Thermostat and radiator, bought parts and replaced myself...................$1,034.00
Week 2: A/C diagnostics for water leaking onto passenger floor mats and feet (not resolved)........................$78.00
Weeks 3 and 4: Several shops attempt to change oil but cannot, drain plug frozen....................................$100.00
Week 5: A/C shop replaced expansion valve and drier, claimed fixed leak, I claim not................................$653.00
Week 5 still!: Back to A/C shop about my floor board now called "A River Runs Thru It" ................................n.c.
Week 6: Who knows, more leaking onto the floor board, nobody can fix it and surely something else that cost a lot of money will fail as will my will to persevere with this toad.

How could I have been so stupid, I knew I shouldn't have bought it but I was a crack fiend looking for a fix, it was weird and now I feel really gross about it, like a guy who got really drunk and did something really embarrassing, like kiss a guy. I just want this truck to go away, like a "alien abduction" or something. Do you think an alien would be so stupid as to steal it??
I guess not, if they can "space travel" then they don't want this hunk o turd.
I must post a follow up and tell you this..............
After I vented and sent in my tale of woe, I walked out of my office and drove home.
All the time I was driving, I was irrationally talking (yelling) at this vehicle. I told it what a let-down it was and what a sad reflection it was of traditional British motor cars, Lucas electronics and all. I informed it that quite likely I would soon wash my hands of the whole matter, purchase myself a spiffy new Volkswagen Touareg, and promptly sell it to some inhabitant of the third-world where it would be bought and shipped to the respective banana-republic of it's new owners birth place where it would be neglected, abused, maintained with bailing wire and vise-grips and die a horrible death while being cannibalized and parts put on whatever. Upon arriving home, I felt really dumb for having yelled at a truck for 15 minutes, grabbed a beer and reflected, reflected upon why the hell..............
              The next day, I headed to my buddy who is the head mechanic at a well respected Rover dealer here in So. Fla. I figured we'd tear the evaporator case apart and get to the bottom of this, or get really mad trying. First, my friend wanted to see the leak, I felt the lump, I knew the truck was not going to leak for him.
               It is now Tuesday and since I sent in the letter to you, yelled at the truck and threatened it with being a third world "burro", and showed it the brutal reality of a good range rover mechanic on the case, I think it finally cracked and realized who the boss is here!!!! I have not had one drop since.

Jon "Over the Rover" Gilbert

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